I fail so hard I Win

I don't like Pokemon. I've never really cared for them. I mean sure as a TCG the illustrations on the cards helped me to grow with my drawing skills, I'd draw my friends favorite Pokemon cards except larger... I look back on these and see how much they are NOT pretty but for the time it was my best. Yet by and large I could care less about the little monster that live in red and white orbs attached to a belt... Shouldn't they technically be called Beltmon then?

So what in god's green earth inspired me to create this abomination of cakery?



One of my friends made this:


It's a Hard Gay rendition of Kirby... (NSFW, I mean it's not bad, but I'm pretty sure you don't want to view it there)

I was also making a cake of roundness and wanted to try my hand at decorating, so I thought and thought of something fairly easy to make into a cake and recalled this little guy:


So it's a classic white cake (box mix) with blue jello added in (I just mix the jello powder in with the dry mix and bake as would normally, adding 10 - 15 minutes onto the bake time) With blue cream cheese frosting (hand dyed?) classic white frosting dyed red, and his eyes and tail are made from nutella, the white is all un-touched cream cheese frosting.

Oh and his paws and mouth are frosting covered york peppermint patties.

Not bad for my first attempt at Cake decorating... but I can do better.

Substitution!

If you're anything like me, you've read recipes before that you would love to try, but there's that ONE item you just don't know where to get, or dislike using for whatever reason, and so you toss the recipe aside, gloomy and disappointed with the world.

The St. Petersburg Times (my old town newspaper) put out a list of various substitutions in their food section a while back, and my grandmother, Memo, graciously sent her fledgling chef the clippings. I'm going to share them with you, because i thought it was just awesome!

Photo courtesy of: ralphbijker

Shallots -> Replace with Sweet Vidalia Onion, or if it is in a cooked dish any onion will do with little flavor difference.

Sliced Portobellos -> Button mushrooms are a good replacement for both sliced portobellos and Cremini mushrooms

Grand Marnier -> substitute with frozen orange juice, The concentrate sort, or simmer regular orange juice reducing it by half.

Heirloom Tomatoes -> can be substituted with and ripe tasty tomato

Panko -> can be replace with an dried bread crumbs, though they'll be heavier than the Japanese Panko

Arborios Rice -> Substitute with any short grain white rice

Serrano chili -> Green Jalapenos

Fresh Basil thyme and oregano-> replace with dried herbs but cut the reduce the amount by 1/3

Mace, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, and pumpkin pie spice -> interchangeable with one another, any mixture of two out of the five will work well

Creme Fraiche -> though not as thick, Sour Cream or Greek Yogurt are capable substitutes

Mascarpone -> mix 8 oz of cream cheese with 3 tbl sour cream

Bittersweet Chocolate -> substitute with semi sweet chocolate, most people won't notice the difference in a recipe.

Red or Yellow bell peppers -> easily interchangeable with green bell peppers, of the recipe calls for roasted red bell peppers, cheat and buy them in a jar ;)

Prosciutto -> In cooked dishes you can substitute with Bacon, in uncooked dishes use thinly slice ham

Leeks -> Substitute with Scallions or a combination of scallions and any thinly sliced onions.

Fontina cheese -> Swiss cheese shares the tasteful tang, and is just as easily grated.

Yukon potatoes -> Yellow, white, and russet potatoes are good stand ins

Marsala wine -> Pinot Noir, port wine, or any sweet red wine will work just as well

Cocktail Sauce -> Ketchup and horseradish with a generous squeeze of lemon juice will do in a pinch

Asagio Cheese -> though they taste slightly different Parmesan or Romano cheeses are good substitutes that work well with many of the same dishes as Asagio

Fresh Ginger -> for every 1 tbl of fresh ginger you need you can use 1/8 tsp of ground ginger

Vanilla Bean -> Use 2 tsp of vanilla extract for every 1 vanilla bean your recipe calls for

Cured Chorizo -> replace with Spiced salami, if using the meat raw, choose Andouille or spicy Italian sausage

Balsamic Vinegar -> Red wine Vinegar

Red Pepper Flakes -> a few dashes of hot sauce (when cooking of course) and you'll never know the difference... heat wise.


Some of these seem pretty much no brainers, but every now and then, when you're in the heat of the moment... You just need that little kick.

Chicken al la "What the heck am i making?"

So i learned a lesson today. Never ever talk to another foodie friend after deciding what you will make for dinner. It will lead to you deciding that instead of taking it easy and making some rice and ramen concoction, you will end up pulling out 1 1/2 - 2 lbs of chicken, 3 lbs of potatoes, multiple soups, corn, rice and spices out the wazzoo and thinking. What can i make out of all this?

On the plus side, it might just lead to the most wonderful recipe you've made to date!

So what I ultimately ended up using was:

three skinless chicken breasts
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 can sweet niblets
3 lbs red potatoes, peeled and cut into even pieces
one box of instant chicken flavored rice
Bread crumbs (eyeball it people)
salt
pepper
lemon pepper
cayenne

So... Remember how last time I said to make sure your dishes were all washed? well I was a good chef today, all my pots and pans were clean. Plates were not. So if your plates aren't clean, make sure you start the washer before the food!

I peeled and cut my potatoes into halves and then fourths and then washed them.

Placing the three chicken breasts in the pan i surrounded them with the potatoes and then with the can of sweet niblets. I then cursed Hannah Montana for making me think of her everytime I hear sweet niblets...

I sprinkled them with salt, lemon pepper and a drizzle of olive oil before covering the entire thing with a layer of cream of chicken soup. on top of that I added the bread crumbs and then popped it into the oven for 50 minutes at 375 degrees, center rack.

I completely ignored the instructions on the rice box (I do not enjoy rice that is browned before 'cooking' and so I pour 2 1/2 cups of water into a pan, added the rice and rice seasoning, then added a bit of cayenne pepper and lemon pepper to boot, stirred it to mix, and brought the entire pot to a boil. Once there i dropped it to a simmer, covered it and let it cook for 15 minutes.

If you cook like I do, and your chicken is done before you even START the rice, just cover it loosely with foil ;) it'll be like it's tanning.

Serve on a dish and eat!



P.S. if you washed your dishes right before serving, and the washer is still 'heat drying' please be careful not to burn yourself on your beloved servingware!

You don't have to Cook

To make food Fun! I was digging through some old photos for a reference to draw when i came across a few snap shots from my friend's school's art show.
Some of these are pretty much no brainers on how you create them, but some of them you kind of marvel at.


I think my favorite in the humor category is the mini zombie munching on the giant Cantaloupe head.




I want this person to carve my pumpkin next year

Cheeseburger Casserole in Paradise...

So I know I know I"ve been meaning to get this up for a bit. Sorry, but it makes this all that much better yes?

My mother bought me one of those "Five ingredient recipe" books a while ago, and I finally pulled it out for ideas. What did my eyes see revealed to them but a "Cheeseburger and fry casserole." I knew I had to try it, but not in it's book incarnation because they use mushrooms and I hate those blech.

So here we have our victims:

We have two lbs of lean ground beef, one 10 and 3/4 oz can of cheddar cheese soup, one 10 and 3/4 can of cream-o-tater soup, a bag (32 oz) of frozen fries, a lb of low sodium bacon. Garlic powder, Onion powder, and Olive oil.

Now please please please be a SMART person and make absolute sure that your BIG skillet is clean and ready for use. If you don't, you'll be like I was, scrambling to find an easy way to cook 3 pounds of meat without splitting it into a hundred tinier portions.

As it were, please please please do not cook two lbs of ground beef and 1 lb of bacon all at one in a medium sized skillet. It works... but it is just a frustrating ;)

Any who cook your bacon until it's nice and crispy. I usually cut mine into pieces first for things like this, but it you prefer cooking them first and then breaking them apart by all means go ahead. Remember cooking is a fun thing to do, so make yourself happy.

When the bacon is cooked to your liking, drain off the fat and brown your beef. Once again drain the meat (you can leave a little bit in there for flavor if you're naughty like I am)

So far it's easy yeah? Don't worry it's staying that way.

Find a fairly large baking dish (The books recommends a 13 in x 9 in 2 in baking pan) Now if you don't have a 13x9x2 inc dish, or if (like me) none of your dishes have size markings, you can always split this into smaller portions and just make "more" individual-ish casseroles. As it were, I made two.

Pour in your Beef and Bacon. Then pour on your Two Cans-o-Soup and mix it all together so they can make sweet sweet food harmony. Now I also added some onion powder into that whole mix (Burgers have onions yeah?!) and it came out great...

Next take your (still frozen) French Fries and arrange them on top of your casserole. Or just dump them on top and then spread them around into a semi neat presentation like yours truly.

I drizzled mine with olive oil and some garlic powder for flavor and to help give them that "out of the fryer look"

Pop your casserole into your oven (Heated at 350 degrees) for 55-65 minutes or until the fries are brown and crispy like they should ALWAYS be. none of those limp bending over from gravity fries in my house...


Take your lovely easy half store bought but still home made with love dinner out and serve!


YUM!

Sorry for the delay

But cleaning house and such has taken longer than i expected... I'm going to attempt to make Cheeseburger and fries casserole tonight, So I should have the recipes and some photos of that up tomorrow if not before!